My Sausage

In community college biology class I performed an experiment in which I collected all of the old keyboards from a computer lab that had not been upgraded in nearly a decade.

I eviscerated the keyboards. Once they were all uniformly ground into a fine powder, I put them through an elaborate refining process wherein the organic matter was to be separated from the inorganic. After undergoing several stages in a specialized centrifuge, the organic material, such as food particles and flakes of human skin that had collected under the keys, had been extracted. This material, a virtual microbial zoo, was then compacted into a cylindrical mass similar in proportion to a Vienna Sausage. My hypothesis was that I had created a super vaccene.

With the hope of developing the antibodies and inheriting the immunities of a generation of weathered desert college laureates, I ate the sausage.

This is the origin of my superpowers.